Wednesday, 2 July 2014

What I will and won't miss

What I will miss
  • Climate: Catching some rays in November? Yes, please!
  • Beach: Sandy delights at your doorstep
  • Lack of rain: Is that the sound of the neighbour's shower... or... could it possibly be... rain?!
  • The English Language Assistant's working week: More days off than days at work
  • Patience: You can't speak very good Spanish? No pasa nada.
  • Relaxed atmosphere: You're late, but that's no reason to rush
  • Kind people: Generosity without asking for anything in return
  • Cheap alcohol: Buy predrinks for 2 euros
  • Cheap crisps: The packets are actually full as well
  • Living above a newsagent: Although this often had calorific consequences
  • Olives: The best I've ever tasted!
  • Tapas: Complimentary food served with your drink. This would never happen in the UK
  • Cute dogs: In order to be a citizen of Melilla you must have a small, unbearably cute dog

What I won't miss
  • Inconsistent classes: Waking up at the crack of dawn and walking 30 minutes to school only for lessons to be cancelled. No teacher even considered sending a Whatsapp message the day before
  • Lack of central heating: It's 15 degrees outside and you're still wearing several jumpers
  • Gas heated water: Shower has gone cold again
  • Getting things done: I missed your email and call, pop by the office and I'll be with you in a few hours
  • Food: Vegetarianism does not exist. Apparently preparing normal dishes without adding fish or meat is too complex for many Melillans to understand
  • Undrinkable tap water: Bottled water is heavy to carry and a waste of plastic (especially because it can't be recycled in Melilla)
  • Humidity and wind: It's a bad hair day, everyday
  • Flying cockroaches: Your worst nightmare, flying towards your face
  • Roads: Run across a zebra crossing and hope the cars will stop
  • Cars: If a car honks its horn, it is then obligatory for the whole street to join in
  • Hills: Calves still hurting from that brisk walk yesterday?
  • Litter: Seriously, have you ever heard of a bin?
  • Lack of recycling: In a city with an area of 12km2, how much landfill do you really have?
  • Stairs: Would it really be that difficult to install a lift?
  • Creepy Moroccan men: "Your heart is for your partner, your body is for me"
  • Dog poo: Pick it up!
  • Bad smells: An unsurprising result of the litter and dog poo
  • Domestic flights: That don't always depart at the indicated time of departure
  • Traffic lights: I've been waiting to cross for a while. Oh, this one has a button? 
  • Neighbours: Who think they rule the whole apartment and get annoyed about the smallest things
  • Cinema: What's on today? The same as last month
  • Speaking Spanish: NO ENTIENDO

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